Hmmmmm...How should this one be handled??
Sometimes I feel like all I do is Dear Abby myself on this blog but I guess that is what it is here for. Ahhh...yet another dilemma in my life, only this one is really insignificant compared to the other problems that I have had and the other problems in the world!!! Today My friend "A" and I went to tea. You see this is the 3 year anniversary of our trip to England and we try and make it a point to find somewhere to have tea on our "anniversary" I know it is kind of goofy but it is the only thing that only she and I can do and say that we have done together in England. (Yes readers this is the same friend that I have talked about in other posts.) Well we go to the tea shop, such a quaint little place and my friend goes to park and it has moved since I was there last 5 years ago, but she knew where it was, she told me that she had parked there one day and saw the sign, then I said where is the entrance she told me where it was, I said have you been here and she told me that she and some girls from work had been in there to look around. Then I said you ate here before didnt you? And she said well yeah, I was like why couldnt you just tell me this from the get go. We got quite and you could tell that we had just entered a tense situation. I was not bothered that she had been there, what bothered me that there were basically 3 lies that led to the truth. I am hurt that she felt that she had to lie to me, why not just tell me that you had been to the freaking place before. I don't know what is going on but I really think that the friendship is losing its footing. What is it going to be built upon now, lies and deciet? If anything I am happy for her that she is getting out and doing these things and that I am not always the one that does them with her. Yes as friends you need space and I am totally understanding of that. I heard a topic on a talk show one time about guys and when they should break their friendship with another guy and the top reason was petty lying. I wonder if that should apply to women too. I really am convinced that now I am just the babysitter that she used to have a lot in common with, one day she will need me again for friendship and the only thing I can do is be here for her.
Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things. ~Author Unknown
posted by kristi at 6:00 PM
5 Comments:
Man, do I know how you feel. This has happened to me a couple times. I personally think, (again, just my opinion) this person has a problem and she not only lies to you about petty things but to EVERYONE! It is up to you to either accept it as part of her personality and when you catch her in a liew, just shrug it off and she will know you are not impressed or break it off.
My motto is friendship should not be hard work...you should look forward to it.
I do not understand people who lie about little things,especially supposedly good friends. I had a best friend who told me she paid cash for her new couch and then a couple months later she was saying how she was still paying the couch credit card payment....What????? I really could care less how she paid for it but the fact she lied to me about it really bothered me. Then I heard her tell other people lies that made no sense either.
i really do not know what to say exsept do not take it personally, like I said, she probably does it to everyone.
Hope this helps and thanks for the comment on my blog.
I guess maybe she felt like you would be jealous or something if you knew she had been there with other friends. But to lie about it like that is just kinda childish. I am glad she is making other friends. I hope that helps her situation and that it gives you some air. But I hope you do not get left just being the babysitter either. Eventually she is gonna get out of this phase (I hope) and want things the way the were. The question is are you gonna be able to handle the way she is acting and being her sitter until then? I guess you just need to decide for yourself if the friendship is worth holding out and on for. I think you too have had a very special friendship. But every since she has left her husband it seems like all she cares about is herself. She is taking you and her "A" for granted. You have been her rock. But now she is putting you through a tough time and it is not fair. I do not know any advice to give you. I wish I did hon.
Lori,
I agree I do not like to be lied to and find out the truth 6 months later. If it is that bad that you have to petty lie about it then dont bring it up at all.
Mimi,
I have to admit that in the past I have been jealous of some thing especially in CT but now I am just so stressed out with all of this crap that I do not give a flying flip anymore. I have not an ounce of jealousy anymore and I know that may be hard to believe but its true, considering past incidents
I don't think it is hard to believe at all! :) I didn't think you were jealous anyway!I could tell by what you wrote and other things you have told me that you are not. You have been through too much and have too much going on to worry about that crap. But even if you were that is no reason to lie. She would not be where she is without you and she owes you more respect than that.
Listen to Mimi, she knows her stuff!
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