An Update & A Dilemma...Help Me Fellow Bloggers
Well the husband left on Sunday and due to timing constraints his "needs" were never fulfilled. I thought he was a little mad at first but I think he really realized that I just might have had a point there. We got something accomplished while he was at home, we put mulch in the front flower beds so I think I can close the book on Front Yard Beautification. It is something that I have been wanting to do for a while but with him gone he has the truck with him, and I can only carry so many bags of mulch in the back of my Focus.
Well my baby boy goes for his adenoidectomy and tubes tomorrow, I am a little nervous, the tubes are a breeze there is no pain factor there, but the other think I going to be a little painful, not like getting your tonsils removed pain but maybe worse than a sore throat pain. I am prepared with stocks of jello, popsicles, and ice cream sandwiches. I will probably gain a few pounds during his recoup time!!!! He should be back 100% by next Monday. We are going to leave on Thursday to go to Virginia to visit the hubby for the week of spring break. So see for all of you that felt bad for him, his needs will probably be attended to!!! I am taking my friends 4 year old daughter with me, her father is stationed in VA so since I am going to be in the area I volunteered to take her with me to save her a trip. My best friend and her daughter moved down here, almost 6 months ago, upon her leaving her husband of 5 years, my husband and I took them in until she found a place to live and a job. They were with us from the end of Oct to the beginning of January. The have moved to their own place now. We knew them from being stationed in Connecticut, she, Mimi, and I all lived in the same building along with some other families. Well anyway so our family went from 4 to 6 overnight and it wore thin quick on my husband but I promised to be here for her for anything that she needed. I think of her like a sister, and boy oh boy do we fight like siblings too. I have now watched her daughter for almost 6 months everyday after Pre-K. I pick her up, take care of her and feed her dinner from time to time. Much I feel goes unappreciated, although I would love to feel a little more appreciated then I am, in the end it really is not worth it to me. I also get paid on occasion to do this for her, now here is the dilemma I am having. I do n0t want to spend all summer watching her, I do not mind doing it a couple of days a week but I will be going from 3 hours a day to 8 hours a day and I think that is going to become a little wearing on my family. Plus my husband is the type that just likes to pick up and go do something out of the blue and with someone elses kid everyday we will not have that freedom. I just do not know how to go about telling her this, as I know it will probably cause alot of friction between us. Plus I feel that by me watching her all of the time, my friendship with her mother has slowly deteriorated into a friendship merely of convienence. I am just always available when she needs me and I feel really guilty on the afternoon when I say put her in after Pre K care because I have things I have to tend to. But then the realization came to me that when I need child care I have to pay for it and sometimes it is really hard for me to find. I have talked to people about this and they all tell me I need to talk to her about it and that it has gone on far too long something needs to be done and done soon before I am not a friend anymore. But how do you go about telling someone that you can not watch their child, especially when that person is your bestfriend. You think that you would be able to tell your best friend anything without her getting mad at you or you getting mad at her. Our friendship is truly explosive but I love her still!
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine. ~Thomas Jefferson
Well my baby boy goes for his adenoidectomy and tubes tomorrow, I am a little nervous, the tubes are a breeze there is no pain factor there, but the other think I going to be a little painful, not like getting your tonsils removed pain but maybe worse than a sore throat pain. I am prepared with stocks of jello, popsicles, and ice cream sandwiches. I will probably gain a few pounds during his recoup time!!!! He should be back 100% by next Monday. We are going to leave on Thursday to go to Virginia to visit the hubby for the week of spring break. So see for all of you that felt bad for him, his needs will probably be attended to!!! I am taking my friends 4 year old daughter with me, her father is stationed in VA so since I am going to be in the area I volunteered to take her with me to save her a trip. My best friend and her daughter moved down here, almost 6 months ago, upon her leaving her husband of 5 years, my husband and I took them in until she found a place to live and a job. They were with us from the end of Oct to the beginning of January. The have moved to their own place now. We knew them from being stationed in Connecticut, she, Mimi, and I all lived in the same building along with some other families. Well anyway so our family went from 4 to 6 overnight and it wore thin quick on my husband but I promised to be here for her for anything that she needed. I think of her like a sister, and boy oh boy do we fight like siblings too. I have now watched her daughter for almost 6 months everyday after Pre-K. I pick her up, take care of her and feed her dinner from time to time. Much I feel goes unappreciated, although I would love to feel a little more appreciated then I am, in the end it really is not worth it to me. I also get paid on occasion to do this for her, now here is the dilemma I am having. I do n0t want to spend all summer watching her, I do not mind doing it a couple of days a week but I will be going from 3 hours a day to 8 hours a day and I think that is going to become a little wearing on my family. Plus my husband is the type that just likes to pick up and go do something out of the blue and with someone elses kid everyday we will not have that freedom. I just do not know how to go about telling her this, as I know it will probably cause alot of friction between us. Plus I feel that by me watching her all of the time, my friendship with her mother has slowly deteriorated into a friendship merely of convienence. I am just always available when she needs me and I feel really guilty on the afternoon when I say put her in after Pre K care because I have things I have to tend to. But then the realization came to me that when I need child care I have to pay for it and sometimes it is really hard for me to find. I have talked to people about this and they all tell me I need to talk to her about it and that it has gone on far too long something needs to be done and done soon before I am not a friend anymore. But how do you go about telling someone that you can not watch their child, especially when that person is your bestfriend. You think that you would be able to tell your best friend anything without her getting mad at you or you getting mad at her. Our friendship is truly explosive but I love her still!
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine. ~Thomas Jefferson
posted by kristi at 12:58 PM
4 Comments:
My comment is way too long. Gonna email you. Was getting rady to anyway,lol!
If you don't talk to her soon your resentment will grow and you will lose her as a friend. Work it out now and you might save the friendship.
Gosh, this is a tough one. I guess I would sit her down and say you really need to be available for your family this summer and your family needs come first but offer to babysit in emergencies (as she would for you). Remind her that you were there for her when she stayed with you for THREE MONThs which to me is a lifetime.
I guess if she gets mad you need to ask yourself if you really need this person in your life as a friend because a true friend would not take advatage of you. Good luck!
You are a good person...but this woman is taking advantage of you..if she wants to leave the little girl with you and you want to watch her then she needs to pay you something...she would have to pay anyone else...some people just dont think,....your friend sounds like one of them. Good luck Sweety!
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