Saying Goodbye Really Sucks

(not an actual picture of my hubby)

Why is it that saying goodbye is always so hard??? I have had to say goodbye to my husband for a couple of months, he must now go do his Navy duties and protect us. How come it still hurts that he is gone. I always go through this process everytime he leaves, first I want to lock myself in the house and not emerge for anything. Now I have to my kids are in school and I go to school next week. So there is not locking anyone inside and feeling sorry. I have friends and my kids but I still feel so lonely when he is gone. I hate doing anything because he is missing out on it, but I have to for the kids sake. I HATE BEING WITHOUT MY HUSBAND. Sure I piss and moan about him when he is here but I would trade this whole military lifestyle just to have him at home all of the time. I really gave it some deep thought and you know in a typical relationship sure one person may have to travel for business but there is still the phone and the trips are not always that long. I can't even hear my husbands voice while he is gone. That saddens me, I can't tell him about my day if it was bad or good and get an instant response. I have to write it in a letter if it is really worth telling him and I have to wait for a mail drop, which happens with little to no notice. Last night I lost it, I could not help myself but I had a good cry, hell I had a couple of good cries. But this morning as I took him to work I held my composure and did not shed a tear until 2 hours later when my friend called me. Sure time will heal my new wounds but they are always there and everytime that boat leaves, those wounds are sliced open again. Being a militay spouse is a special thing but it is emotionally draining. Now, once again, I am both the mother and the father, the husband and the wife, I will sleep alone for the next couple of months. I will not have a heart to heart with my husband or see his face for that long either. Give me a week or 2 and I will be getting back to normal. I will probably be a little slack on my posts too during this time.

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. ~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook